我因为全家人得知我老婆怀孕后就集体不参加我的婚礼，而拒绝让他们见我的女儿，我这样做是混蛋吗？

NTA

Do not let your toxic family around your baby, at all! The way they treated you for getting married while expecting was disgraceful. They viewed her existence before the wedding as shameful, abandoned you, your Uncle cursed you out (that’s not very Christian of him!), etc.

Yet now that your daughter is born they want to rugsweep how awful they behaved, refuse to actually apologize, and feel entitled to be a part of her life.

Don’t let these people with their fickle conditional “love” have the chance to hurt your daughter too. They may be blood but that doesn’t make them family. Your wife’s family stood by your too, which is a marked difference in behavior!


nomatter what goes down between us I can never deny that my daughter is their granddaughter/niece/etc and they're her family.


And tell your cousin, “So? No matter what you say, you will never be a part of her life. I will not allow it. I’m the parent so what I say goes. Stop contacting me.”

NTA
“they've always been known for their decency and good christian values and weren't willing to let this "stain" their reputation”
Is it really ‘good Christian values’ to treat your child that way??
They refused to be apart of your wedding so it is up to you if you want to refuse to let them be apart of your child’s life.

I had a similar situation. My mother stopped speaking to me when I moved in with my now husband because he wasn’t ‘her’ religion and we were just engaged to be married in a few months and not married when we moved in together. She refused to acknowledge him or my stepdaughter even after we were married. When I got pregnant she then wanted to be apart of my life and see my child. I allowed it at first because I was so hurt by what had happened and really wanted family again. Turns out there is always going to be something they don’t agree with and will threaten you if you don’t give in to them. I am now no contact with her.
This is totally your decision

NTA - With that said I will never understand why anyone who gets pregnant out of wedlock acts surprised that their conservative "Christian" family isn't thrilled by the idea and doesn't want to celebrate the baby until after the nuptials.

My sister did the same thing. She was pregnant when she got married. She and her then fiance were already trying for kids. She took my parents to dinner and was surprised and disappointed that they weren't happy about her pregnancy prior her marriage and that they stood up and walked out of the restaurant. My mother gossipped about it at a relative's funeral, but was worried about her "reputation" by my sister's sin. 🙄 I told her being a gossip was worse than having a baby out of wedlock and if she was so worried about her reputation she shouldn't be talking about other people behind their backs.

Then next thing you know after you've wed, they're suddenly accepting bc it wasn't the baby's fault you sinned.

It's annoying, but not surprising. They likely see her as a Jezebel, but you're their angel.