首页 / 法律问答 / 我给我老婆的前任钱,我这样做对吗?

我给我老婆的前任钱,我这样做对吗?

商业律师 4 回答
我老婆几年前和她前夫离婚了,虽然放弃了孩子的抚养权,但每个月还要付600美元的抚养费。最近我发现她有时候会“忘记”支付。我不是律师,但根据网上查到的资料,以三个孩子加上他们离婚时的收入,抚养费应该在2000美元左右,当然最终决定权在法院。 我自己收入很高,说实话非常有钱。 前几天老婆抱怨她前夫老是打电话给她,我问了原因,才知道是抚养费的事儿。我就跟她说直接给他钱得了。老婆也有一份不错的工作,收入也很可观。但她说这是“她自己的事”,还说她不想要孩子,这笔钱她自己要用,让我别管,说我不懂。 我偷偷看了些资料,发现他们住在一个很破旧的小公寓里,在城市里很不好的区。这让我心里很不是滋味。我小时候也是单亲家庭,和四个兄弟挤在一个房间里。我妈为了我们付出了太多,她是个伟大的女人,为了我们四个儿子操碎了心。她做的每个决定都是为了孩子。 我试图和老婆沟通,提出我来支付抚养费,或者看看这在法律上是否可行。连续三个星期,我都在跟她说这个事儿,但她根本不听,既不妥协也不谈判,只是说这钱是她的,她要自己用。 后来我通过一些文件找到了她前夫的电话,发消息给他,他很惊讶我竟然会联系他。聊了几句之后,我直接说明了来意,约他在咖啡馆见面。 他说现在什么都在涨价,房租什么的,而且他换了份工作,工资还没以前高,以前的工资也不高,现在他连一周的伙食都快买不起了,更别说给自己买了,孩子们也都在长身体,衣服都小了,他也买不起新的,油价也涨得厉害,他现在真的是非常困难。他有三个女儿,连个手机都没有,三个人挤在一个房间里。什么兴趣班、活动,根本负担不起。 我能感觉到他真的非常不容易。我不是个爱哭的人,但当时我眼泪都快掉下来了。他说他没办法给孩子们应有的生活,觉得很愧疚。 听完这些,我就提出要给他钱,帮他照顾孩子们。他当然一开始是拒绝的,我就按照网上查到的数据,给了他2000美元。可能对有些人来说很多,但说实话,这对我来说根本不算什么。 我写了支票给他,他当场就哭了。那一刻,我也忍不住泪流满面。我想到我小时候,如果当时我妈也能得到这样的帮助就好了。这让我回忆起了很多过去的事情。 我没打算隐瞒这件事。我直接告诉了我老婆,结果就是我现在睡在酒店里。可能我是做错了吧。她不愿意花她的钱,我就花了我的钱。我就是觉得那些孩子应该得到更好的生活,这笔钱能帮到他们。也许我有点自私,但我真的不觉得自己做错了什么。可是现在收到的那些消息,好像都在说我做错了。
回答次数 (4)
生死场
# 4
Nta. She won't let you discuss spending her money, but when it comes to your money, all of a sudden you're the asshole?

That's not how this works, OP's wife. Just because you relinquished your rights and don't want them, doesn't mean other people can't step up to help out. Sometimes it truly does take a village. Plus, it's not the kids fault their mother doesn't want them, they didn't ask to be born, all they can do is live their lives as best as they can.

Would your wife have thrown this large of a fit if she learned a complete stranger gave him that money? Or even, if you had given that money to a charity or something?

You did the right thing, and I wish there were more people like you out there who don't mind sharing their wealth with others when it's warranted. You're a good person in my book, OP
゛丫头
# 3
Listen....I grew up poor AF as well, and what your wife is PURPOSEFULLY doing to INNOCENT children is abusive. Period. They're children! I get that she signed away her rights....but I can't imagine being so cold hearted that you'd go so far as to financially torture them. That poor man crying is all you needed to know.

What you need to ask yourself is whether you REALLY want to be with someone who won't hesitate to abuse children and feel not only zero remorse, but justified in doing so. What I've learned is people like this will eventually turn this hatred towards you and kick you when you're down.

Please keep helping this poor man, and PLEASE start talking to a lawyer about how to best protect yourself and your assets in the event that you pursue a divorce. Because, frankly, the kind of person who would make a child suffer just because they can, is not only an inappropriate life partner, but they are vindictive in divorce proceedings and cannot be trusted.

NTA
N
NightEnvelops
# 2
OP, my biological mother was someone who cut myself off and my two other siblings. She chose to keep 37% of my dads inheritance when he died (my adoptive parents had to fight to even get us some money to raise us) and she was more interested in her friends or her affair partner than us.

For your wife’s children, they would really appreciate the help. It isn’t easy for kids to lose a parent and finding out they aren’t wanted by one of them. What you have done is amazing and you have helped Jake massively.

Your wife is an extremely selfish individual and she doesn’t care about the kids she gave birth to and how much they are struggling. Maybe consider your relationship with her as her true colours are showing. If you got extremely sick or ended up disabled do you really think she would stick around for you or move onto someone else? Just things to consider with staying with such a vile woman.

I see you are considering seeing Jake again. I am sure he appreciates someone to talk to as well. NTA OP.
难相见
# 1
AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team

My wife divorced her now ex husband a few years ago and pays child support, she gave her rights to the kids. She pays abt 600 dollars.I just found out she sometimes “forgets”.i’m not a lawyer but, Three kids, plus the income at the time they divorced should be around 2,000 just by articles, but this was up to the court.

I am very wealthy and make a really generous amount of income.

My wife was complaining that he kept calling her I asked why and then it unfolded. I told her to just give him the money. My wife works a good job, again generous money. She said that it’s “her business” and she doesn’t want the kids and this money could go to her and I should stay out of it because I know nothing about it.

I looked at some papers and they live in a small apartment at a bad side of town. Hit close to home. I grew up with a single mom and four brothers shared a room my mom struggled a lot for us, she’s a wonderful women who broke her back for all four of us. Every decision was about the kids.

I tried to please or compromise with my wife, I tried to tell her I’ll pay for it, also tried seeing about this being a legal issue. I brought this up for three weeks straight and I got no answer, no compromise, no negotiation, just her saying it’s her money and she needs it for herself.

I found the guys number through some files,I messaged him and he was quite surprised to hear from me. After some back and forth, I got to the point and we met up at a coffee shop.

everything in his house is going up, rent and shit like that, he had to find a new job that doesn’t pay as much as before and before didn’t even pay much, he is struggling to buy enough groceries for the week for all the kids much less himself, the kids are growing out of clothes and he cannot afford new clothes right now, gas is going up tremendously and he is clearly struggling. He has three girls none of them have phone’s. They all share one bedroom. He can’t afford activities of anything.
you could just tell he was struggling. I’m not a crier but I teared up at this. He said that he wasn’t able to give his kids what they deserved and he’s ashamed of that.

After this, I offered the money he needed for the kids, after him saying the classic “I can’t accept that” ,I went with what I read in the articles. 2,000. May seem like a-lot but trust it’s not making a dent in my bank account.

I wrote a check he started balling, That was enough to make me tear up even more. I just thought this was the help my mom needed for all of us back then and opened up a-lot of past feelings.

I had 0 intention of hiding this. I was upfront and told my wife exactly what I did, and a hotel tab later, I presume i might have fucked up. She didn’t want to spend her money so I spent mine. I just can’t get my mind off the fact that these kids deserved more and this money can help,that I maybe selfishly don’t feel like I did anything wrong, but the amount of messages I’m getting says otherwise.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
北美法律通