首页 / 法律问答 / 我真是个混蛋吗?因为我老公让讨债公司把咱们的钱都拿走了,我就跑去前任家了?

我真是个混蛋吗?因为我老公让讨债公司把咱们的钱都拿走了,我就跑去前任家了?

商业律师 5 回答
两个月前,我(45岁,女)醒来发现银行账户余额是零。到现在两个月了,我还是无法相信这不是我丈夫的错,或者说我还能原谅他。 那是个我和丈夫共用的账户,他的工资、房租、伙食费、汽油费、信用卡账单等等都从这个账户出。 我们不富裕,我兼职时薪14美元,他全职时薪18美元。 我们有两个女儿,但只有小女儿(7岁)是他亲生的。大女儿(12岁)的父亲是我的前任,我们因为他不停地出轨而分手(没结婚)。 事情的起因是我丈夫为了多挣钱,考了个房地产经纪人执照(但实际上到夏天之前都没啥生意)。 他开始担心房地产经纪人必须掌握客户的敏感信息,怕自己如果被债权人起诉,这些信息会对他不利。 我承认,为了让我的女儿在生活水平上不比她爸那边差太多,我们办了比实际需求更多的信用卡。后来开始接到催债电话,我让他别理那些人。 我也建议过申请破产,但他觉得债权人还是会来要钱。有个债权人特别难缠,我们搬家后他们还是找到了我们。我丈夫说他的执照是公开的,债权人总能找到他。 他联系了那个债权人,把欠款谈到了700美元,我们还能承受。我丈夫说他会处理,说对方同意销账,然后用电子支票付了款。 过了几天,一切似乎都还好。结果我突然发现,他们把我们整个账户都掏空了!整整四千美元!我当时就崩溃了。我丈夫进来后,什么都没做,只是捂着胸口,无助地比划着,发出一种喘息声。 他一声不吭地坐在那里,而我却在想我们连买这周的食物的钱都没有了,我只能用我前任给的抚养费来养活我和两个女儿。 最后我带着孩子们去了我前任家,因为我实在无处可去。虽然他以前出轨,但他不想让自己的女儿挨饿,也不想让她看着妹妹挨饿。所以他让我们住下了。 我丈夫不停地给我打电话。我去拿东西的时候,他简直像着了魔一样,我听到他声嘶力竭地喊着“他们”要拆散我们的家庭。他还写评论说那个公司把他的一切都夺走了,毁了他的家庭。我的前任说谁都知道讨债公司会这么做,我丈夫当初就应该听我的。 现在已经两个月了,我正在找自己的房子。我丈夫也不再做房地产经纪人了,工作也差点丢了,因为他总是心不在焉的。 现在我们之间的互动充满了怨恨。昨天我们大吵了一架,我说如果他当初不理那些讨债的人,这一切都不会发生,而我已经准备好放下这件事了。我算是个混蛋吗?
回答次数 (5)
A
AzureSky2
# 5
Wow, YTA.


Right or wrong, YOU incurred this debt.
He negotiated, in good faith, to clear it up.
Collections ROBBED you two.
You blamed your husband and left to your Ex's?


WTF?!?!?!?!?

He was right to negotiate as it wouldn't just go away.

One mistake made was to have all your money in one account. Technically speaking, collections most likely broke the law and I would look into that. You should also discuss with your bank because of they had a check for $700 and somehow got 4K, sounds like forgery/fraud and someone at the bank should also have some explaining to do.

As far as your husband being pissed, yeah, I'd be pissed if you shit on me and ran to an Ex at the first sign of trouble. Fuck that.
S
SkyInfinity
# 4
YTA

No question

You didn't need to leave, you just wanted to move in with your ex-boyfriend. If he doesn't believe you're banging him, your husband is a fool and he sure doesn't sound like an idiot. He knows what you're doing.

ended up grabbing our kids and driving to my ex's house because I had nowhere else to go.

You could have stayed with your husband, I notice he's not homeless

Despite being a cheater, he did not want his daughter to starve or to watch her sister starve.

Do you really think that's going to convince a court during the divorce proceedings? Ever been divorced for adultery before? You're going to need a better story than this one.

He's fortunate to get rid of you so easily though he's probably too crushed and heartbroken to realize it right now. Thank God he only has to pay child support for one of your kids.
剑◇心
# 3
This all started because my husband got a real estate license in hopes of making extra money ( despite no real business until summer).


No it didn't, it "all started" right about


I admit that to soften the standard of living disparity between my ex and I, we took out more credit cards than we should have, for my daughter's sake. We got collection calls and I told him to tell them to get a life.


So... The real story is that you racked up a bunch of credit cards that you couldn't pay for so that your oldest daughter wouldn't like living at your ex's house more than yours.


I said if he ignored the collectors none of this would have happened and I'm ready to move past it.


I don't think you understand how money works. Do you really think you can just move to a new address and all of your credit card debt goes away because you no longer see the bills?

It's WILD that you are blaming your husband for trying to pay off YOUR debts as the cause for this.
A
AzureSky
# 2
YTA


I still can't convince myself it's not my husband's fault or that forgiveness is possible.


He wanted to not be hounded by credit card companies all the time it's his fault. Okay, let's keep going.


This was a shared bank account my husband and I had opened


Per the depository agreement you signed when opening the JOINT account, had you read any of it, you would understand any debt owed by either account holder can be pulled from even joint accounts.


This all started because my husband got a real estate license


So this is not where that started. Let's not lie. It started here


I admit that to soften the standard of living disparity between my ex and I, we took out more credit cards than we should have


You wracked up debt you couldn't pay,


We got collection calls and I told him to tell them to get a life.


That's not how debt works.


My ex said everybody knows debt collectors would do this and my husband should have listened to me.


Lmao, listen to you? No, honey, you had it all wrong
E
Eric2
# 1
You're just a bitch.

You soften the standard of living disparity by getting more credit cards? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard and it always will be when someone tells me they get a credit card for literally any reasons besides building credit or necessary purchases before your paycheck comes in.

If you get multiple credit cards to better your standard of living, you hurt it, every time, severely.

If you spend an extra $5000 in a year on a credit card that has about 20% interest, that's now over $1000 a year you have less because you are paying interest.

Then you make the same amount of money, give $1000 to credit card companies, and have no credit left because it's maxed. Except you didn't even pay the credit card company because they sold your debt to collectors.

This way of living will leave you with no money, no credit, collectors that will never give up bothering you, and eventually if you ever find a way to own anything, collectors will come for that too.



Oh and then you run back to your ex that cheated on you, as if that the man who cheated is better than a man that at least made an effort to help your problem.
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