我前夫真是自己作死,本来能过上好日子的。
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Okay, so I don't usually hang out on Reddit, but I listen to r/slash at work, and I wanted to share my story.
My ex-husband was a MESS. It wasn't his health problems that bothered me, but the fact that he refused to take care of himself! Especially when his issues kept me from getting any sleep.
I was working insane hours at a terrible security company. I was the only field supervisor in my area, so on top of my regular 40 hours, I was constantly called in for emergencies. During COVID, I was working 80-100 hours a week! The money was great, but I was miserable.
Meanwhile, my husband was working part-time, getting SSI, and blowing all his money on video games and junk food (against his doctor's orders). I was paying for everything – rent, car, insurance, phones, you name it. This went on for three years and just kept getting worse.
Despite all the money I was spending on him, I managed to pay off my car and save enough to buy a house. It wasn't fancy, but it was a two-story with a basement, a nice yard, a creek, and awesome neighbors who were always inviting us over for drinks and pool.
During the move, I was still working crazy hours, so I couldn't help much. But I paid for the moving truck and dinner for anyone who helped us pack. I asked my husband to make sure everything got packed up.
He only packed his stuff, then the furniture, and ignored everything that didn't fit. He was late returning the truck, and I had to call about the late fee.
So, most of my stuff, my roommate's stuff, and my brother's stuff didn't fit in the truck. My brother had to make trips after work to bring stuff over. I asked my ex to do the same, and he agreed.
THREE WEEKS LATER, I finally had a day off. I worked a 12-hour shift and planned to pack a few boxes and take them to the house. I walked in and saw that my ex hadn't done a single thing! He lied to me for three weeks!
I completely lost it. My legs gave out, and I just started sobbing on the stairs.
My roommate and best friend walked in right after me and found me there. He held me while I cried and promised to take a few days off to get everything packed. He told me to go home and sleep, but I decided to pack a few boxes since my husband was useless. He helped me pack, and I drove to the new house. I didn't even bother unloading; I just collapsed on my bed and cried myself to sleep.
Hours later, I woke up and went out to my car to start unloading. My best friend was already there, unloading his car with a tired smile. He'd been going all day! Meanwhile, my husband was in the basement, doing who knows what, and breaking his promise.
We eventually got everything moved, but I had to extend the lease by a week, all because of my husband's laziness. I was furious. Once we were finally moved in, I sat him down and told him how angry I was about his lies and how he'd caused all this trouble. He started accusing me of all sorts of things in return, like how I wouldn't "passionately hug" him because of his medical issues.
That's when I snapped.
I yelled at him that I don't "passionately hug" ANYONE, not even myself, because I'm working two jobs to support his lazy butt and his lifestyle! He wastes his money on junk food and video games, and he doesn't lift a finger to help around the house! He makes my life harder. I'm still cleaning up after him! So, no, I don't want to passionately hug him if he's not going to earn it.
He gave me the silent treatment for two weeks. He wouldn't text, talk, answer calls, or even look at me. And he was still living off my money! Finally, I messaged him asking why he was treating me this way, but he ignored me. I asked more questions, still nothing. Finally, I told him that if he hated me so much, he should just divorce me.
The next day, he said he wanted a divorce.
I asked him why.
You won't believe his answer...
"You don't do enough for me."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
I lost it again.
I told him that I do EVERYTHING for him! I pay for EVERYTHING so he can live this cushy life! I give him a roof over his head, food, money in his bank account (I was even giving him extra money when he asked!), and I was taking days off to spend time with him! I was doing EVERYTHING for HIM, and this is how he repays me! I got right in his face and told him that since he wanted the divorce, he had to file, and if he even suggested I sell my house, I would destroy him. I'd hire an expensive lawyer, drag him through the longest court battle of his life, and take every penny he would ever earn, plus court costs. Then I kicked him out.
He moved out and said he was moving in with his family a few cities away and asked me to file. I filed in my county because it was closer.
He FREAKED OUT! He wanted me to file online and pay an extra $270 out of MY pocket (since he expected me to pay for it all!), and I said no.
A few days later, I got a weird text from him that didn't sound like him. I argued with him, and then he confessed: it was his GIRLFRIEND. He'd lied AGAIN and moved to New York from Georgia. She went crazy on me via text, calling me abusive. Long story short, we argued, and I told her I wouldn't talk to her again. I was filing in my county because I'd already started, and I wasn't changing my mind because he lied. If he hadn't lied, I might have filed online, but definitely not now.
Months went by, and finally, the court date arrived. She drove him to Georgia, and they were 15 minutes late. I was 15 minutes early, and the clerk asked if I could contact him, so I went outside. I saw her pull up. I told him she wasn't allowed inside because of COVID, but honestly, I just hated her. He nodded, and we went inside. We spoke to the clerk and started the paperwork. I know a little about the law, so I knew what questions to ask.
I also know how lazy he is. He HATES doing anything he doesn't have to. So, I reminded him in front of the clerk that he still had stuff at my house, and I wanted it gone. The clerk told him that anything he left on my property after a certain date would legally belong to me, and there would be no way to get it back without my permission. He asked if he could work something out with me, and I told him no, he'd have to follow the legal guidelines, and anything left behind would be forfeited.
Now, while we were together, his mom (who was an angel despite her son turning out the way he did) passed away. I LOVED that woman. I wanted something of hers to remember her. He had inherited her dining room rug, which wasn't worth much, but it was a lovely antique. I knew he couldn't afford to ship it or rent a moving truck, and it wouldn't fit in his girlfriend's tiny car. So, while he was crying and loading up his mother's belongings, all of which he had left behind when he left, I told him I was keeping the rug. I said it flatly and without emotion. He tried to argue, but I pointed out the obvious, and he conceded. He knew I was right.
That rug is one of my favorite things. I've started renovating our basement, and it's now in a guest room with my bookshelves, armoire, king-size bed, and a 55-gallon fish tank.
And even better, I married my best friend, and we've been together for almost four years. On our fifth anniversary, we're having a real ceremony since we just had a simple one with two witnesses the first time.
And for more petty revenge, I still have my ex's childhood art binder (which he cherishes), and I'm keeping it until he pays me back the $400 he owes me for the new tires I put on his car just weeks before he decided he wanted a divorce. It's been over four years now. I'm probably never giving it back! I send him annual reminders.