Ive been following this story, and I’m somewhat empathetic, because this situations sucks, but as I’ve said on the last post, you’ve allowed 25-30 years go by, with no degree, and no work history, and given a man several children who won’t marry you.
You even stated in the last post, that YOU KNEW he was leading you on, and giving you false hope of marriage, yet you still had several kids by him.
You need to suck it up, and apply for SNAPS. It doesn’t matter how embarrassing it is. It’s important that you can actually feed yourself.
That life style that your EX boyfriend was funding, is over.
You literally have nothing, and you need to start somewhere, before you can build yourself up.
Also, why are you still calling him your boyfriend?
How many more ways does he have to tell you that he doesn’t want you, that he doesn’t respect you, that he doesn’t value you, and that he doesn’t care about you?
Over 30 he’s showed you who he was, yet you still won’t believe it.
Your kids are literally in college, and will be graduating soon, while mom hasn’t done anything, but get played.
I’m sorry I sound harsh, but you need to get real, and face reality.
You need to create a foundation for yourself.
You’re over 50, and have stupidly and blindly given your life and your all, to someone who won’t even piss on you, if you were on fire.
Build a foundation for yourself. It doesn’t matter where you start, or how embarrassing things may be. What’s important is that you’re able to make a new life for yourself, and you need to love yourself more than what you have the past 25 years