我有点接受不了，我爸（53岁，离异）现在约会的对象都跟我差不多大（23岁），这正常吗？

He’s dating the women who are into him.

Your mom hurt him.

He’s still healing.

He’s looking for safe women to date.

Women who appreciate him.

Maybe women in that age range do appreciate him.

Middle aged women might not be into him.

Maybe middle aged women don’t like things about him that your mom also didn’t like.

He’s your dad, not your partner.

If he was your son or your brother you’d be supportive of him as he tries to find women who like him after a break up, wouldn’t you?

Well, your dad also shares half your genes just like your son (would, if you don’t have one yet) or brother (does, if you have a brother, or would, if you had a brother), so you can choose to cut him some slack if you can’t be supportive of him.

He’s not replacing you with those young women, he’s replacing your mom who has already replaced him with another man, lmao, so those women are no threat to your mom, and definitely not to you, you are his daughter, he’ll always love you more than any other women in his life.

If it’s the age thing then you should take note that he’s meeting these adult women on his own, those women aren’t from your social circles, he’s not dating your friends, so there’s no cringe factor there, he’s dating women from his social circles, so why should that be a problem for you?

He can only date women who are into him.

He doesn’t have a choice in which women like him.

No man does.

oooo girl my dad did the same shit when I was a kid. he's a lawyer and a narcissist. my brother and i had to set hard boundaries with him that we wanted nothing to do with the women he was dating. most of them were using him transactionally for free rent, free expensive things (he'd buy them YSL bags and brand new iPhone's, etc. his only way he knows how to show love for real is buying people things). he'd also prioritize being around these women over seeing and spending time with his children which was just really disheartening and was happening the second he divorced my mom when i was 12 all the way to now (i'm 27, my brother turns 33 in Nov).

one of these women even tagged me in an instagram post claiming that she got knocked up by him and had to get an abortion. she seemed very bitter. it was very jarring to see. it makes me worry there was power play and coercion involved and it's hard for me as his daughter to grapple with that. i had to set a hard boundary that he's no longer allowed to post pictures of me with my account tagged in them anymore. he agreed and then also sent me a list of women to block on socials. that's deeply unacceptable.

he never was able to remarry bc of his poor decisions, all of his family has cut him off including my brother. i'm all he has left. and now he also has parkinsons. it was a slippery slow on the way down but he really leaned into it and fell down.

don't be afraid to set boundaries with him and have 0 involvement with these women even if it means not seeing him if it makes you uncomfortable. you should be able to voice these issues you have with him and be able to set boundaries that you want nothing to do with any of it but still want a relationship with him that doesn't involve these women. and don't be afraid to double down. it IS weird.

I empathize with your struggle.

I'll share a bit of my perspective because I'm in a similar position as your Dad

Similar age. Some success in life. Difficult divorce.

Since the divorce I have dated women in their 50s, 40s, 30s and 20s. Women in their 30s and 40s are, not surprisingly, in a very different place in life (compared to 20-somethings). They have a lot more responsibility, usually they either have full-bore careers or kids. Sometimes both. Or maybe they are interested in having kids. It's very hard to find someone in those age ranges who is interested in lighthearted fun with a real emotional connection.

Women in their 20s are more open to that. They have a lot of life to still live. And they have a lot of time to find a long term partner and have kids - they're not stressing about that. And they don't have the weight and responsibility of kids. Sidenote: I absolutely LOVE being a parent, but it's nice to have real connections with people that don't carry a lifetime of obligation - someone I can care about and have fun with, but doesn't have a real chance of being a 10yr+ commitment, someone who is not reliant on me long term.

A meaningful and positive connection for both people, without the weight. That was a really great thing for me in the aftermath of a challenging divorce that put me in a place where it was very hard to really enjoy myself and had sapped my confidence.

Some of my connections with women in their 20s have been very rewarding and among the best in my life. Yes, they are a little outside the bounds of social norms and are not fully accepted. But the women are all very much mature adults who have a lot of options and have chosen to date an older man. In my case I feel like the younger women I have dated have had great experiences - I am a complete gentleman (something that seems to be hard for them to find when dating their age), I bring some career and life experience that can be a helpful - we can show each other new and different parts of the world, and we flat out have fun together. The connections are real and meaningful (even if they won't last more than a few months or years).

As for social norms, we do seem to be in an era where more and more people feel less constrained by tradition, especially those traditions and norms that are not serving them well. People are free to explore - LGBTQ, poly, age gap, etc... It's wide open now. And I think that's both great and can also be hard for people to be ok with.

My core advice is to look at the individual people and the relationships and to make an honest assessment of what's going on: Is this positive and healthy for both people? Are they being treated with respect and care? Is your father happier and in a better place than he would be otherwise?

If the answer to all of these questions is Yes, then maybe you can work on finding a way to be ok with what is making him happy.

And if you have concerns about your answers to these questions, maybe that's the starting point for a conversation with him where you can share your concerns.