首页 / 法律问答 / 我因为拒绝为了给我女朋友的父母留下好印象而撒谎说我的工作，我是混蛋吗？

我因为拒绝为了给我女朋友的父母留下好印象而撒谎说我的工作，我是混蛋吗？

商业律师 5 回答

Okay, here's the story, re-written as if the original poster is telling it directly, cleaned up, and without the extra Reddit stuff: "So, I'm a 28-year-old graphic designer, and I've been dating Sarah, who's 26, for about a year. Things were great, but she asked me to do something that's really bothering me. Her parents are coming to visit, and she wants me to lie about my job. She thinks they'll look down on me because I'm not a lawyer or doctor like they are. She wants me to tell them I *am* a lawyer and even tried to coach me on legal jargon! I told her I'm not starting a relationship with her parents based on a lie. If they can't accept me for who I am, then that's their problem. She got really upset and accused me of being stubborn. Honestly, I'm starting to question everything. I still love her, but now I'm wondering if she even respects me. It felt like the lying was the only issue, but I guess it goes deeper. For context, Sarah isn't close to her parents. They barely know where she lives. She works in marketing and makes less than me, but her parents are old-fashioned and don't care about that. Sarah says that's why they won't find out the truth if I lie. Anyway, I confronted her about it, and it exploded. I told her I felt like she was ashamed of me and my job. She went nuts, accusing me of talking to my friends about it. She insisted I had to go along with the lie if I wanted to meet her parents, but I refused. I told her if that's how it was, I didn't need to meet them. That's when she dropped a huge bomb on me. The reason she's not close to her parents is that they're super controlling. They threatened to cut her off financially even after she was an adult if she didn't do what they wanted. She moved away after college, and they cut her off and took her trust fund. She's an only child, and her only chance of getting her inheritance back is to win them over. She even admitted she was planning on lying about *her* job and my background too, because her parents think I'd be a gold digger if they knew I wasn't rich. She wanted to tell them I came from an old-money family they couldn't trace! She thought that by doing this, she would win them over because it would tick the two boxes of having the "right" job and coming from a wealthy family. She didn't tell me all this earlier because she was afraid I'd break up with her. At that point, I didn't know what to say. I told her I didn't care about the inheritance. If she and her parents can't accept me for who I am, then maybe this isn't right for me. She started crying and calling me selfish. I was so shaken up that I packed a bag and went to stay at a friend's place. Now I have no idea what to do next. She keeps texting me about how we could use the money and that she'll get most of it when we get married because her parents will give some money if she marries someone they approve of. She's even sending me pictures of fake documents that she created! She says it will make us seem legit. She's really lost it. I'm going to have to break up with her, but it's not going to be easy because we share an apartment. I'm trying to figure out how to navigate this mess."

#财产继承 #欺诈文书 #关系解除 #经济控制 #职业歧视

回答次数 (5)

BronzeNewbie2

# 5

I have a couple family members that are pathological liars, like George Santos level. They will lie about innocuous shit, serious shit, they lie indiscriminately. They’ll have half-baked plans like this that they cling to so strongly that they snowball into I Love Lucy-esque situations. For every funny anecdote there are 10+ that are decidedly less funny.

I could see one of them concocting this scenario. I could see one of them concocting this scenario and even lying about square one, the rich lawyer parents, just so her friends and family are impressed she snagged herself a lawyer. Regardless, a lie this big, I’d be wondering what else she’s lied about.

Martinez

# 4

My parents are relatively wealthy (barely in upper class), but made it clear that any help we received as young adults was contingent on being my mom's puppet. I tried to play the game at first, but any time I did something she didn't like I'd get a phone call where I was informed that "we can't afford to help all of you" and another promised support would be dropped. Even now years later I can't even casually let her book a hotel room for me because she'll just check in the room herself and refuse to give me the key if I don't do what she wants during the time period between booking and the trip.

Pretty quickly, me and one of my siblings said "hell nah" and just made our own way. It sucked.

Our other two siblings took the other path, and holy shit. There is some crazy enmeshment, codependency, and general purpose dysfunction going on over there that I could literally write a novel about. I can safely say I took the right path. I doubt I'll get a dime of inheritance but it's kinda whatever. Having fuck around money would be nice but the requirement to become a fucking nut is not worth the cost.

丗

丗俗ヘ

# 3

I don't think Sarah cares very much about losing OOP. He was just her vehicle to the $$$, and she thinks it's too hard and/or time-consuming to start from scratch with another man to run by her parents.

She should have made this a business arrangement. Found a guy - not necessarily a sex worker, but someone who has no trouble also viewing this as a business arrangement - who understood the game the whole time, was all in, and shared the same motivations. They get a binding legal agreement about how they split whatever funds Sarah gets and what the guy partner has to do to fulfill the contract.

If this was a "Tales From the Crypt" episode, Sarah would successfully work her way back into her parents' good graces, convinced she was back in the will, and then too impatient to wait any longer, she murders her parents in a staged accident. Then she finds out her parents had gone broke and were on the verge of losing their last possessions, her male partner absconds with all of the expensive jewelry and everything not nailed down, and she is convicted in a capital murder case, never to have any money again with only toilet wine to drink.

江

江山如此多娇

# 2

I know Reddit's kneejerk reaction is to break up, there's some real trauma that the GF has to work through and OOP can help her, but lying about everything is only going to blow up. My 'father' was a narcissistic sociopath who lied like breathing. I never developed that skill because I hate lying and liars. Here's what would happen if they follow with her ideas.

The parents will find out at some point that she's lying, and it will blow up. Whether it's this weekend, next week, or at the wedding when the parents ask the OOP's parents what they do and when the lie gets exposed, this will blow up in their face.

The lesson I learned at a young age was to always tell the truth. It's easier and less to remember. With a lie, you have to remember the lie, who you told which lie to, who they talk with, where they go, and what lies you told them. With the truth, you just have to remember one story.

Also, the GF doesn't realize she holds the cards going forward. She's trying to get the approval of her parents who are withholding her trust fund. She's the only child. She's the only one that can carry on the bloodline and provide grandchildren. If they ever want to be a part of the grandkid's lives, they need to play ball. Otherwise, she's a stranger and the kid grows up with only one set of grandparents.

Rebecca

# 1

I'm not familiar with the reality of background check and such on the states, so please if I'm wildly wrong, please correct me, don't abuse me 😅 all I know is what I've heard from some people on social media so I really don't know for absolute certain, but isn't it relatively easy to pay for such things at least basic backgrounds for the average Joe? If the parents are filthy rich, and they're willing to meet some guy to determine if they approve or not. Wouldn't they ALREADY KNOW of his every move and every last penny he has in the bank and every last mole on his body? (I'm just exaggerating to make a point with the last one although you never know with rich people 🤣)

No matter what false documents she had made from whatever guy that makes them look real and pass any regular inspection, my guess is, if the parents are filthy rich, they probably know already about him and his job and family background as well as how she's making money and who she talks to... Right? I mean, if you have basically unlimited funds and an ego bigger than the milky way, you make sure you check under every rock and piece of dust for any details.

I do feel bad for OOP but I think it's good he's realizing now the lie is bigger than just "I want to trick my parents for money". The fact she made aaaaall of this without talking to him, hoping to trick him into accepting it all, it means she has deeper issues than wanting mommy and daddy's money