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我今天真的崩溃了，感觉整个世界都塌了。

商业律师 3 回答

Okay, so I'm kind of rambling, but I need to get this off my chest. If anyone understands, I'd really appreciate your thoughts. Today, it hit me: the Corporation of the Presiding Bishopric isn't the perfect, holy organization I thought it was. I know, it's old news for most, but it's a shock to me right now. Here's a little background: I grew up in Salt Lake, a classic Mormon kid with pioneer roots. My parents were amazing – loving, supportive, and deeply involved in the church. My dad was a bishop, then a stake president, and finally a patriarch. He's the best man I know. I watched him closely and never saw a flaw. He was tolerant and family-oriented. He supported my interests, from heavy metal to D&D. He made time for us, whether it was baseball practice or just being there. My mom was the same. Our home was filled with love. I was an Eagle Scout, seminary president, and a zone leader on my mission. I loved the church. I even went to Israel and Egypt with BYU, which strengthened my testimony of Jesus and Joseph Smith. I was sure it was all true. But then, as I got older, I realized the "one true church" thing is ridiculous. The idea that my god is right and everyone else is wrong? No way. Truth belongs to everyone. I explored Buddhism, paganism, and even atheism. I found truth in all of them, even in Mormon doctrine. I realized it's all myth. Even though I knew the church wasn't completely true, I stayed active because I loved it and it was ingrained in me. It was a vehicle for devotion. At this point, my dad was head of real estate for the church. He worked with General Authorities (GAs) and even met with President Hinkley regularly. They were friends. I even got to know some GAs myself. I golfed with them, played tennis with Jeffrey Holland (who told me to call him Jeff), and even played with my hero, Neal A. Maxwell. I respected him so much. I truly believed these men were great. My dad trusted them, and I trust his judgment with everything. I knew the church wasn't true in the way traditional Mormons believe, but I thought these leaders were good people, not corrupt. That's how I felt for years, even after hearing things that made me question the GAs. I still wanted to believe they were good. But then... I learned about their unethical financial dealings with shell companies. I researched it, and it's true. They were dishonest. I read their official statement after being fined by the SEC. It wasn't what I expected. They didn't deny it or proclaim their innocence. They basically said they trusted their lawyers and the company managers and paid the fine. That's it. They knew they were wrong and did it anyway, for money. I'm literally crying right now. I looked up to them my whole life. I saw corruption everywhere else, but never with them. I defended them. They were my friends! I feel so betrayed. I'm sure there are other unsavory things they've done. I'm 51, but I feel like a kid who just found out Santa Claus isn't real. I'm really shaken. I'll be okay, but I'm just appalled. Is there nothing pure and good in this world? Why? I'd be grateful if anyone could help me process this. Thanks for listening.

#SEC罚款 #虚假陈述 #公司经理 #律师信任 #财务交易

回答次数 (3)

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廊坊滩

# 3

I am sorry for your pain and disillusionment. Believe me, we’ve all been through it. I think you may have seen the “humanness” in the GAs. The “mowing the front lawn” kind of person doing the stuff that we all do at home. There is quite a division between a person just living a regular-type life and someone who dresses up in a $500 dollar suit on Sunday and stands at the pulpit to open general conference. Personally, I’ve know many people of different dominations whom I have liked and even loved but could not embrace their type of faith. Same with the mormon/lds church.

You are still in the middle of deconstructing your belief in the mormon/lds religion. We’ve all been there, believe me. I can empathize with you. For many decades I was as staunch a LDS as they come—very active etc. etc. I struggled for several years with realizing the church I loved had been built on lies, huge falsehoods and frank cover-ups. A classic example of this is “Joseph translated the golden plates”…er…oops, he didn’t have the plates anywhere near him for “translating” but stuck his face, with his favorite rock, into a stinky, dirty hat…now that everybody mentions it.

Truth is like dropping a single drop of black dye into a test tube of crystal clear water. Even one drop taints and colors the entire test tube of water and all the prayer, hoping and praying can’t turn the water crystal clear again. So it is with the church. Besides, every organization on earth is full of corruption. Just let in one guy like Bednar for example, and the whole organization becomes corrupt and believe me, when you start out with a corrupt man like Joseph Smith, then the whole church from there on is corrupted and perpetuated as corrupt.

Look at how the church treats children and teens who have been raped and molested (see the Paul Adams case), look at the unmerciful way all tithing receipts are used solely for purchasing stocks, properties and other things just to increase revenue for the church (as if $269 Billion dollars in the coffer wasn’t enough to help millions of people.) (see The Widows Mite site). All this carefully covered up stuff tells the real truth about our once beloved faith. These 15 men know the truth about everything. They choose to participate in the cover-ups. They may look “wonderful” but they have deliberately allowed themselves to be influenced by money, power and influence. Each of them have chosen to sell their souls for a bowl of porridge.

CloudVillageSamurai

# 2

Well internet stranger, I did read that "long ass catharsis", and I sympathize.

Since leaving, I have heard so many stories (like with Christine Burton, niece of Hinckley) which have shattered my view of these men as good and christ-like people. I feel jaded for revering these men when I only knew them from a thousand miles away, so I cannot imagine how much harder it must be to have been with them up close and to only now see that grime hiding within. It sucks.

On the one hand, it sounds like you had an ideal mormon upbringing, so it must be wonderful to remember those times. On the other, those experiences will also be tainted by the memory of the church simply being an evil corporation, like so many others.

One thing which helps me: The world has also been full of humans that had a net negative effect on the world and those that have had a net positive effect. That is simply the nature of existence, so I accept that at face value. Now for context, I look at where humans have historically been, and where we are now. The world is so much better than what it was. Hating and killing strangers used to be the norm (different religion - kill; different skin color - kill; better food source - kill to steal land; and so on). Death and war still happens, but the statistics proves that there is less death and war and crime now than in other times of recorded history. Slavery (looking at you Nestle) still exists in the world, but it is a shameful thing that actively being worked against. Sickness, hunger, etc. are all slowly improving. This comes in waves (hello MAGA), but it is improving.

We live likes the kings of yesteryear: Exotic foods are cheaply available in our grocery stores. We can command the air itself to cool for our pleasure. All knowledge is available at our fingertips. I can contact my family and friends, anywhere in the world, on a whim and see their faces and hear their voices. Life is truly amazing.

However, ugliness and evil still exists. The MFMC still exists. But it is also going the way of the past. It's membership is shrinking. It's power over Utah as a theocracy is decreasing (still got a ways to go with the ratio of mormon political leaders over there).

Not sure if any of that helps, but I hope so. You are not alone. There is a whole community of us here that have all been harmed in one way or another and felt similar indignation as you.

And if all that is still too much, then play a DND session for a bit of escapism. I guarantee there are some groups you could join.

kobebrayrui

# 1

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know it was painful for me and I didn’t have the same close connection with GA’s that you have had.

Lies were what pulled back the curtain for me too and I know it hurts. Everyone has a different deconstruction journey but I’ll share what worked for me in hopes that some of it helps you.

When I realized that I’d been lied to for my whole life, it really hurt but the church had always been my comfort zone so I tried to be PIMO (physically in, mentally out) for a few years. Continuing to attend and hold callings made me question myself and my sense of truth. It was painful and, unfortunately, my family could tell there was tension inside me. It caused me to try to keep my family at arms length and my wife was getting fed up.

Eventually, Holland gave his musket fire talk. My wife knows Matty Easton and supports him so she knew that Holland’s comments did not reflect her own opinions but knew that full membership in the church did passively condone his views/statements. At the same time, a member of the bishopric kept reprimanding my wife for making decisions related to her calling on her own (she was primary president and posted on the ward FB page). The combination of the patriarchy and Holland’s comments made it so we both wanted to stop attending and re-evaluate our relationship with the church. After taking a step back, we saw more lies and decided we were done.

After leaving, I kept having internal doubt. Was I damning my kids? What morals will they learn? Will they think that I just quit because it wasn’t easy?

I listened to Mormon Stories for a while and still listen occasionally but for that first 6 months, the podcast helped me to keep my resolve. I told my wife that it was like an inoculation that was helping me to keep all of that doubt from coming back. That’s not to say that a faithful member can’t listen to the podcast but, for me, listening to others express what I was feeling helped me to know that it was a systemic problem and not a me problem.

Now, I’ve been out for a few years and I’m happier than I ever thought I could be. My marriage is stronger, my kids are better equipped to be individuals with their own interests, desires, and they are more accepting of all people.

My advice from my own experience is to go slow in your deconstruction but to not go back. The pain of being PIMO was not worth it. Decide what’s important for you to emulate to your children and live that life. For me, I wanted them to see me as someone who treats others with empathy and respect so I live that life to the best of my ability. I’m not perfect but I’m better than I was. I make sure my kids know that I love them and that my love isn’t conditional. They have expressed more individuality and I love watching them grow.

Sorry for the novel. I hope it can help!

U/johndehlin