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天啊,我新工作刚开始,但因为出差时找了妓女,现在感觉糟透了,浑身不自在。

商业律师 3 回答
搬到新城市后,我入职了一家公司。 头几周感觉还行。同事们虽然说话有时挺直,但工作上都很专业,做事也很干脆。 因为公司是半导体行业的,所以去亚洲出差是家常便饭,也是我的工作内容。 几天前,我和几个新同事一起从亚洲出差回来,发生的事情让我有点懵。 出差的前几天很正常,我们和客户打交道,开了很多会,也谈了很多。事情进展顺利,目标基本都实现了。所以我们决定放松一下,去城里逛逛,找家餐厅吃饭。事情就是从这里开始变得奇怪了:喝啤酒的时候,我的同事们决定找当地的妓女过夜,好好庆祝一下。 我当时挺惊讶的,因为他们都结婚了,还有孩子。但这是他们的私生活,他们想做什么就做什么,和我没关系。我还是觉得这很恶心、很low、很让人难堪。但是,话说回来,只要没人受伤,他们就是自由人。 然而,他们开始逼我跟他们一起去参加这个“妓女派对”。他们在妓女网站上翻看照片,然后给我看,问我“你觉得哪个适合你?这个怎么样?你觉得她能满足你吗?”一边说还一边笑。 关键是,我也有女朋友啊,他们也知道。我拒绝了,说实话,我开始生气了,因为他们不停地劝我,还嘲笑我。后来,其中一个人喝多了,生气地说我的态度不利于我融入公司,成为团队的一份子。 我当时就离开了酒吧,回了酒店。第二天我们坐飞机回家,我一个人,感觉被孤立了,在飞机上没跟他们说话,他们一直在聊天,谈论工作。 本来这周一应该回去上班的,一方面我不太想回去,另一方面我又觉得自己没处理好这件事,社交能力不足以应对这种棘手的情况。也许我应该买个妓女,但什么都不做?只是为了让他们觉得我跟他们一样?
回答次数 (3)
W
WhiteTiger
# 3
I think you did the right thing OP.

Imagine this: you did hire a prostitute but didn't actually do anything with them, or say you did but you didn't. Only for the sake to become one of the inner circle. In an ideal world you continue your relationship and hopefully have a successful career path, but you have to walk on egg shells and conform to the ideals of "the pack". If you foster a relationship with this "pack", they will get to know your partner and you will know theirs. At that point you are at constant risk of them or their wives telling your partner that you hire a prostitute on the trips to Asia.

On the other hand, if you decline, as you did they might become spiteful and look for reasons to make your life hell so you'll quit and they find another candidate who is willing to "play ball". I'll take that over the alternative.

Quick note before I close out: you don't consume a prostitute, unless your name is Jeffrey Dahmer.

That's just my perspective. Values > Job
棍姐@
# 2
Not only did you do the right thing, but almost certainly your company probably has policies against those things. Many international/global companies have policies against paying for sex at all.

Additionally, there's a great chance that the girls were probably not willingly in the sex trade, or even adults. Check out https://www.justice.gov/criminal-ceos/extraterritorial-sexual-exploitation-children for details on how a US citizen can be prosecuted for having sex with trafficked children.

Check out https://www.whitehouse.gov/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/National-Action-Plan-to-Combat-Human-Trafficking.pdf for information about how the US is dealing with trafficking, there's great info on there.

The majority of sex workers are NOT doing it willingly. You took the right stand. It's reprehensible, and you were right. If your company does a lot of business overseas, I would be really, really surprised if they didn't have a policy in place against what happened. Had you partaken, even if you didn't do the deed, you could have been in violation of US law, and, if there is such a policy, that policy. You were smart to stay clear.

Now, having said that, you will likely catch a lot of crap from your coworkers if you take any action. If you do decide to blow the whistle, be prepared for it to be pure hell. Whistle blowers are never treated well, and they're often drummed out of the organization.

I admire your attitude, and I think you did the right thing. Tread lightly, though. Sacrificing yourself for your ethics is not as glorious as people think it might be. It makes your job worse, it makes your job hunt worse, and it generally damages the person's life, even though they were right. "No good deed goes unpunished."

You might consider finding a new job, but I have some bad news for you: this shit happens all the time. Especially in sales.
M
MagicTurtle2
# 1
This situation can happen anywhere, do not feel bad because you did NOT get peer pressured to do something that you DID not wanted to participate.

Please do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with sex work, adults can do whatever they want, I do not demean anyone who is involved in it, their choice their life but so do you have your own choices.

Saying "no" can be difficult at times, but you made the right decision. I can relate to your experience as I've been in similar situations where I didn't want to participate in activities beyond having a few drinks and playing some games. I've even been labeled as the "boring" friend at stag parties these days. While I understand my friends' perspective, it's important for them to respect others' boundaries and moral codes.

I learnt this hard way, as I've grown older, I've realized that peer pressure can be harmful, and I regret any past instances where I have personally pressured my friends in my wild running and gunning days, where I was hoping festival to festival and consuming every drug I can take and forcing my friends to melt down with me, but there were few people that did not joined me and still stuck around despite my endless invitations. Anyway at the end, I learnt that some people just wish to be with me to enjoy my company and they do not expect anything further which is totally admirable. I was blind to see how immature I was, nowadays I only ask people JUST ONCE on anything if they want to join whether we go for lunch or grab a beer after work, I do not even ask WHY if they deny my request. Noo further explanation needed, as they must have their valid reasons and I move on.

It's important to prioritize your own values and boundaries, even if it means not fitting in with a certain group, if they really want you they will accept you anyway and you guys do not need to be friends too you can just keep them as acquaintances at work if they do not wish to understand your values.

I wouldn't say go to HR, simply move on, they know your ethics now.
北美法律通