首页 / 法律问答 / 想提升自己?研究那些操控高手惯用的伎俩,绝对是最划算的投资,回报超乎想象。

想提升自己?研究那些操控高手惯用的伎俩,绝对是最划算的投资,回报超乎想象。

商业律师 4 回答
花几天时间了解操控的运作方式,能帮你避免被人欺负,这能为你省下好几个月、好几年,甚至几十年。 这能大大帮助你的事业和谈判,让你更好地理解和评估政治人物,避免加入邪教或被精神控制,还能让你远离那些人渣,或者至少减少他们对你的伤害。它甚至能让你对危及生命的情况保持警惕。你就能狠狠地把那些想算计你的人踢到一边,让他们爬都爬不起来。 而且,它会让你对自己的看法发生积极的转变。 当你意识到自己不再是那个手无寸铁、任人宰割的羔羊时,你会觉得自己更有能力、更自信,更能掌控自己的人生。你能更好地决定把多少控制权交给别人,以及让什么样的人进入你的生活。 关于这个话题,有几本不错的书:《权力的48条法则》(这是操纵者的经典剧本,要带着防御的心态去读),以及《恐惧的礼物》(这本书讲的是如何应对迫在眉睫的威胁)。
回答次数 (4)
K
Kimberly2
# 4
I am a recovering alcoholic, when you're deep in addiction for years you learn to manipulate and lie because it's the only way to keep on going. I like to say that addiction was a perversion of my core instincts that got short circuited to act as if drinking was survival, so anything was justified if it were necessary to keep going.

Now that I am sober and I do not deceive or manipulate people, I find though the same talents help in knowing how to connect with people and get them on your side with legit things, like customer service or authorities. I can also talk down someone who is upset and build people up with confidence like nobody's business. It is a massively useful talent.

Also I think I spot liars very easily, usually I want to critique their approach and what they screwed up.
J
Joshua
# 3
"Winning through Intimidation: How to Be the Victor, Not the Victim, in Business and in Life" by Robert Ringer is a classic. Google your way to the free PDF available to download. It is spot-on about recognizing manipulators. Bonus that it is an easy read and short-ish. Its like manipulators 101.

I would start with it. Its a concise handbook that opened my naive eyes and helped me a ton.

48 Laws of Power is outstanding for seeing different types of manipulators. Read it next. All of Robert Greene's books are excellent BTW.

I highly recommend Chris Voss' book "Never Split the Difference" but its a subtly different topic (negotiation). Several people mentioned it.

"Influence" and "Pre-Suasion" by Cialdini are top-notch.

I have read all of these, some more than once. Start with Robert Ringer. Biggest bang for your (time) buck.
N
NightOwl2
# 2
Hard agree, I think a lot of people would be less vulnerable to misinformation if they were better at identifying manipulative and deceptive behavior. I've read Most of Robert Greene's books as well as Robert Cialdini's.

The only thing I really encourage though is to remember that these tools should be used to protect yourself and others and it takes a real sense of morality not to use these tactics on people. I dont say this like "oh its so hard not to lie and manipulate" its that if you read these books you start to see that the line between manipulation, persuasion and effective communication is VERY blurred and can be very subjective. Always keep in mind who's best interest you have and recognize the power and influence you have over people and the responsibility that should give you.

Also I'm on the lookout for new books if anyone has any good recommendations!
D
Diane
# 1
Probably the best book I read last year was Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss.

I've never negotiated a salary before but this book gave me the tools and most importantly the courage to negotiate. It says how if you're an honest, hardworking person there is no reason you should feel bad about asking for what you want.

It has all these different techniques on how to frame your arguments, real examples/stories, overall human psychology examinations.

For example, asking for what's fair, use a range when negotiating so it seems like you did calculations, a range seems less aggressive as well (Say you want $65k salary and currently make $60k, you ask for a salary that's fair based on research you've done in the range of $65,219 - $68,778). There is no harm in asking for the $68k and often times people meet in the middle, and if they do you're already above where you wanted. Another tip is don't go first as well. He has a bunch of tips about how to wiggle free from that question because say you ask for $65k but they were going to give you $80k, you just shot yourself in the foot.



Honestly fantastic book and I recommend it to anyone who will listen.
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